Falling
by oonaluna10
Summary: A collection of moments that occurred before, after, and during Lily and Severus' downfall. WARNING: slight mentions of abuse.


"You're falling," Severus mumbles, staring up at the calm blue sky above him.

"Falling where?" Lily asks, and Severus smiles, sort of softly, sort of calmly, sort of sadly.

"Onto the flowers. Onto the ground. But you don't get hurt. You stand up, brush yourself off, and realize that you were not falling at all- you were flying," he finishes, and Lily grins at him.

"Sev the Poet. Who would have guessed?" She questions, and Severus laughs.

"You're falling..." he begins again.

* * *

"Why can't Tuny come with me? If I'm a witch, then she has to be a witch, too!" Lily exclaims, her words harsh and ragged. Severus groans. God, her stubborn attitude-

"Because she isn't a witch. You are, though. You were born special, and she wasn't," Severus tries, and Lily crinkles her eyebrows together in anger.

"If you insult my sister _one more time_ , Sev-"

She runs off.

* * *

"Isn't it wonderful?" Lily asks, and Severus stares up at the stars and the moon and the pitch black night sky and he feels the dewy grass beneath him and the humid air above him and _yes, yes it is wonderful, yes, yes, yes..._

"It is."

A pause, and then-

"Whenever I'm sad, or scared, or alone, I always imagine the sky smiling down at me. And that makes things easier, you know?" She mutters, and Severus smiles.

"The stars will always be there. Always shining. And smiling. Smiling down at you, Lily," he says, and Lily giggles, although she quickly turns serious once more.

"I don't want the summer to end. But the stars- they never will. I like that."

* * *

"Sev? What's thar?"

Severus pulls away from Lily's grip. He pushes his sleeve back down over his arm, biting his lip and drawing crimson blood.

"Was that a bruise? Severus, if you're being abused-"

Severus gulps, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jumper and closing his eyes to hold back tears.

Lily reaches out for him once more-

This time, it is Severus' turn to run away.

* * *

"I've never been in love," Lily says. Severus sighs.

"You're eleven."

Lily shakes her head and closes her eyes.

"Yeah, but what if I _never_ fall in love? I mean, I guess that wouldn't be so bad. I want to fall in love, though. I do," she mutters. Severus turns away from her.

"You will. One day."

"I hope so, Sev."

Something about the conversation is heartbreaking.

* * *

On a particularly hot August afternoon, they hug.

Lily and Sev. Sev and Lily.

And then she pushes up his sleeve.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me that this was happening?" Lily whispers, tears spilling out from the corners of her eyes.

"It's just a bruise-"

"That's a load of crap, Sev. It's your father, isn't it?" She questions, and Severus finds himself nodding.

 _Help me, Lily, please-_

"Don't tell anyone," he chokes. "I can handle it myself. Everything's going to get easier. Better. I promise."

Lily shakes her head, her red hair falling into her face.

"I can't continue letting you live like this! Just let me tell my mum-"

"Don't," Severus commands.

And so Lily doesn't.

* * *

"You'll love school," Severus tells Lily.

"How do you know?" Lily teases, and Severus smiles at her.

"Because Hogwarts- at least of what I've heard- is always there to welcome the students home. And I reckon that I'll like a second home," Severus muses, and Lily looks at him knowingly.

"Well, if you're excited, then I guess that I'm excited, too."

* * *

"I want to show you something," Severus says, and Lily stares at him.

"Alright. What do you want to show-"

"Take my hand."

Severus holds out a pale, calloused hand. Lily grabs it, weaving her fingers between her friend's.

A moment of silence, and then-

 _"Run."_

* * *

His muscles burn, and he has never been happier.

Her dress is torn, and she has never been happier.

* * *

"I think- I think that you're my best friend," Lily confesses a few days before the start of term. Severus grins.

"I think that you're my best friend, too," he replies, and Lily blushes, her cheeks turning a warm shade of rosy.

"We'll stay friends through Hogwarts, though, right? Even if we get sorted into different houses?"

"Of course," Severus says, his voice reassuring. "We're best friends."

* * *

"You never told anyone," Severus comments on the last day before the start of term. Lily bites her lip anxiously.

"You told me not to. And so I didn't."

 _Maybe, just maybe, that was a cry for help-_

"You're right," Sirius huffs.

 _Is she?_

* * *

They sit together on the train, staring at each other, silence wrapping around them like a cold blanket.

"Is it true? About the Slytherins?" Lily asks, and Severus looks down at his feet.

"It's...a stereotype. In my opinion, it's the best house there is," he answers. Despite his answer, Lily shakes her head.

"From what I've heard-"

"You haven't heard _anything,"_ Severus interjects, and Lily looks as if she's about to cry.

They wallow in the quietness.

* * *

 _"Gryffindor,"_ the Sorting Hat shouts.

* * *

 _"Slytherin,"_ the Sorting Hat shouts.

* * *

 _"Mudblood,"_ Severus says.

* * *

"Remember the time that you told me to run?" Lily asks, her voice thick with tears. Severus gulps, nodding.

"I loved you, Sev. I really did. You made me feel free. Those memories- they're everything. Without you, I wouldn't have known what to do here at Hogwarts. But this? That was our climax. This is our downfall."

Severus begins to cry.

"Lily, don't do this to me- you're not falling, you're _flying-_ I'm so sorry about what I said. Please forgive me. Please-"

"Goodnight, Severus."

* * *

 _Dear Lily,_

 _It has been years since we have last spoken. I miss you so much it hurts-_

 _I'm still so sorry about what I said back in school. I did not mean it._

 _But something tells me that out friendship was already broken, already ending._

 _I just chopped off the last string._

 _I want you back in my life. I do not know if you want me back in yours._

 _I promise, though- things have changed. I am a different person now._

 _I hope that you and James are doing alright._

 _Please reply to this letter, Lily._

 _For me._

 _Much love,_

 _Severus._

* * *

Severus cries as he shoves the letter into his drawer. It crumples. The ink smears.

She doesn't love him. Maybe she never did.

His heart breaks.

* * *

She dies.

Inside, he dies, too.

* * *

"After all this time, Severus?"

 _"Always."_


End file.
